Milking Cows at Night for Insomniacs

Milking Cows at Night for Insomniacs

“By nature, men love newfangledness.”
– Geoffrey Chaucer

There is a Chinese company (based in Canterbury, England)
that is milking dairy cows after midnight, with the
hope of extracting a melatonin-rich milk which will
put insomniacs to sleep. This is indeed a real-life
Canterbury Tale! The story:

The British company’s milk research manager, Simon Causer
(not to be confused with Geoffrey Chaucer) expects to begin
clinical trials soon.

I performed a Google search for men with the same name
and found just two. One is a tree surgeon in London.

His Internet website reveals:

“Simon has the experience and ability to assess risky
situations and manage them with care to ensure maximum
safety for people, trees and buildings.”

Well, that is a major re-LEAF!

The other not-so simple Simon works with sheep and fur
and is an expert at getting mites out of woolen blankets.
His advice might be to count lambs jumping over fences
during restless pre-sleep periods, not drink cow hormones.

I’ve got some news for the Dr. Causer working with
melatonin. Daytime milk also contains melatonin as well
as progesterone, which will put you to sleep faster than
pondering the meaning of some of my sometimes-eloquent
Notmilk columns.

For those of you still able to function intellectually,
you should be aware that melatonin is a steroid hormone
which is synthesized from the amino acid tryptophan.

Consumption of excess tryptophan in turkey is what puts
Thanksiving eaters to sleep. There is more tryptophan
in cheese made from cow’s milk than in turkey. Supposedly,
the cheeses eaten by Americans come from cows milked
during daytime hours. See:

It is my understanding that cheeses made from dog’s milk
or human breast milk do not contain a lot of tryptophan,
so you might consider these two wholesome and delicious

WARNING: If you are pregnant, do not drink hormone-rich
melatonin milk. Why? A publication in the February 9,
2012 issue of the Journal of Women’s health discusses
“The Relationship of Nocturnal Melatonin to Estradiol and
Progesterone in Depressed and Healthy Pregnant Women.”

Researchers at the University of California’s Center for
Chronobiology (the study of internal biological clocks)
and Department of Psychiatry (the study of external
neurological kooks) determined:

“These altered sensitivities to reproductive hormones may
reflect a biologic vulnerability that predisposes some
pregnant women to depression.”

Robert Cohen

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