“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the cat.
“Were all mad here.”
“Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man
who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another.”
Each Thursday, the newspapers I subscribe
to are stuffed with local supermarket flyers.
I usually pay little attention to the hype,
but yesterday (September 27, 2012), something
caught my attention on Fairway’s brochure.
(Fairway is a small Whole-Foods-like chain
in the New York area).
There on page one (of four) was an ad for veal
cutlets for $8.99. The copy read:
“Literally half the market price!”
What annoyed me was the description:
“Fresh all natural humanely-raised veal cutlets.”
I am aware of how farmers raise calves, but
how does one raise a veal cutlet?
A veal cutlet is a thin slice of fat-free flesh
cut directly from a confined calf’s leg that has
first been stun-bolted in the head and then had
his neck sliced to be painfully killed in a
slaughterhouse. What part of compassion can a
deceitful con-artist apply to that?
The brochure from Kings, another upscale market
(upscale is another word for rip-off) offers
“Black Pearl Scottish Salmon portions” and the
“Black Pearl Scottish salmon are farm raised in
the clear, cold waters of Scotland. Raised on
sustainable feed and rich in Omega 3, they have
a distinctively pure and buttery taste.”
If they sold human flesh, would they market
our meat as rich in fat? Well, just for the record,
it is. Omega 3, Omega 6, and plenty of saturated
and tasty human lard.
As for clear water, farm-raised fish like salmon
live in feces-filled water in their youth, then
are transferred to enormous sea pens in which up
to 90,000 fish can be crammed, while knocking against
each other for the remainder of their lives because
there is little room to swim free.
The water is cold because if it was not, the fish
would die. They eat orange-colored pellets as
food so that their flesh is an artificial rosy-red
which natural salmon possess because they eat
iodine-rich shells from shrimp-like creatures of
the sea. Their feed includes wheat and soy and
fats. No wonder their flesh tastes buttery.
Fish in the wild do not taste like artifucially
colored butter. In 2005, a scientific study
concluded that the consumption of farmed salmon
increased the risk of heart disease. (Lang SS, 2005,
“Stick to wild salmon unless heart disease is a risk
factor, risk/benefit analysis of farmed and wild fish
shows” Chronicle Online, Cornell University).
The pastas from Kings are absurdly marketed. At
$5.99 per 12-16 ounce portion, the copywriters
“Crafted from durum wheat semolina, and eggs in
Crafted? Can the low paid signori working mixing
the ingredients and cutting the dough ten hours
per day and six days per week in a routine which
takes three minutes to teach, and a lifetime to
repeat, fairly be called craftsmen for the
macaroni they produce for Americans willing
to pay such exorbitant prices?
Pasta-making is serious business in Naples, and
there are small companies such as Gragnano where
magnificent pastas are made, but the owners are
the ones who earn large profits, not the so-called
artesian workers. Fifty years ago, the majority of
Italy’s pasta industry was industrialized, eliminating
most artists. Today, the great pastas exist, and
Kings does sell them, but artesinal is a word which
in inappropriately used in what has become mostly an
Then there is Stop & Shop. I have saved the wurst
for last. No, not the liverwurst which is “crafted”
from pig’s livers and added fat like the spreadable
disgusting pate that it is. The good news (according
to Dr. Mercola and advocates of raw milk and raw
meat consumption) is that the fat and cholesterol
in such treats are good for your health. Burp.
Then, in large print, there is news that would
never appeal to me as a consumer looking for
“Stop & Shop will donate $150 to local food banks
every time the New York Giants get a first down.”
Let’s figure that out. They take a write-off based
upon the value of their retail prices, which essentially
costs them nothing. What does that do for me as a
On the reverse side of the NY Giant donation, there is
the good news that each time I spend $20 at this store,
they will lower my gasoline fill-up price by two
pennies. In other words, instead of spending $4.00
per gallon on inflated gasoline prices, I am overjoyed
to pay just $3.98. That’s this week.
Sometime before the election after the war against Iran
begins and gasoline is $8.00 per gallon, I will appreciate
Stop & Shop’s offer even less.
When it comes to Stop & Shop, guess what my future
intentions will not be?
That’s correct; to Stop and Shop.